The work of a Queensmaker contains different aspects. The most crucial points are creating space for your Queen to unfold, such as physical space and time and absorbing pressure, which allows her mind to be care-free. If a woman wants to develop her Queen-self, a Queensmaker also has to give her valuable, constructive feedback such as showing gratitude and appreciation towards her in many different ways - emotional and physical - and discussing thinks to improve. Last but not least, he has to provide her with ideas and inspirations regarding her appearance, behavior, her life decisions, beliefs and whatever more that has the potential to improve her beauty inside and outside.
The Queensmaker - Life Manager, Bodyguard & Toyboy
Basically, as a Queensmaker you are life coach, bodyguard and toyboy in one. You have to see the bigger picture of her life and destiny and at the same time be ready to instantly get your hands dirty and take the lead. The classic role division - woman takes care of children, household and the harmony of the family and man earns money as strong, leading role model - doesn’t apply here anymore. Actually, you probably still have to go to work for money, but rather to buffer the financial pressure on the family and because patriarchal structures in the labour system are more suited for men than following societys expectations. But be aware, that your money-earning job is not to be taken too seriously, your real job begins when you come home until you leave the house in the morning again. Providing emotional stability is one of the most important aspects. A Queens’ emotional well-being heavily relies on trustworthy and loyal people around her and in order for her to live care-free, a Queensmaker has to ensure that she can completely trust his loyalty to death. A Queensmaker is that rock in the stormy sea that never leaves her side and he has to make sure, that this is feelable for a Queen every single day. This is a life decision.
In this regard, marriage is not to be understood as getting a woman under possession. It is rather a visible proof of the unconditional loyalty of a Queensmaker. Feeling the weight of the ring on a finger always remembers the Queen, that she’ll never walk alone, may there come what will. It is important to note, that a Queensmaker works for a woman and not the other way around - the wife serving the husband, as it is the case in some cultures. Expectations of the man will kill everything, especially sexual ones.
Instead of allowing sexual fantasies, desires and cravings to grow, a Queensmaker has to actively work on letting them go frequently. Expectations suffocate everything. Instead, he creates as much space and freedom as possible for her to live out her most creative self. He actively provides her with ideas and inspirations, e.g. in which dresses she would look more beautiful, what toys or scenarios could heat on her sexual fire or which countries to travel would raise her heartbeat.
The Queens Mirror
This doesn’t mean, that a Queensmaker always nods yes and amen to every single thing a Queen does or says. Queens on their way aren’t perfect, sometimes they make decisions not beneficial in the longterm, they may get distracted easily by unimportant shit or are chained by inner mental structures. As a Queensmaker, it is very important to give constructive feedback. He guides her smoothly into the direction he feels is best for her. He doesn’t do so by critizicing her harshly or giving bold commands. He rather chooses words that make her rethink her decisions, that put another light unto a situation or that put a mirror in front of her face. He uses compliments and positive comments when she made progress in dressing sexy or improved her morning routine discipline. He stoically stays reactionless when the Queen is in an emotional storm and has a hard time holding her swear words back. Afterwards he explains, why such behavior is not Queen-style and shows her strategies to dissolve such situations and how to channel angry energy in another way.
If your Queen is a mother, be ready to take charge in caring about offsprings from time to time. Taking care of kids have become more trendy amongst husbands these days, but don’t confuse actual Queensmaker work with this wussy-like „I also want to emotionally feel like a mother a little bit“ that hijacks postmodern mens’ minds like a curse. First and foremost goal in doing childcare is to provide time for the Queen to care about herself. A mother who is surrounded by kiddos 24/7 quickly burns out if she hasn’t any time and space for retreat. You do want to give her that possibility as often as she needs. Actively ask her if you can take the toddler for a walk outside so she gains some time to relax. Command rumbling kids into bed if the Queen seems currently overwhelmed with the situation. Most women don’t need men who are full-time housemen or are looking after children all day long, but rather need to be assured, that someone actually can take charge anytime she needs it. Be that someone.
Pride in Serving
Last but not least, don’t forget your pride in being a Queensmaker. You actively invest most of your time and attention in your Queen for her to come to full bloom and for this you often have to overcome the boundaries of your own ego. You will face a lot of situations where you must show humbleness, be willing to learn or change the way you see the world or yourself. The masculine ego is not meant to be chiseled in stone but rather to be constantly forged in the fire of effort, pain and humbleness. Be fucking proud of that. Manly the fuck up and your Queen will love you for it.