Hi my dear,
The road of reconnecting with your Queen self is like the way back home. Sometimes it might look scary and unfamiliar as there seems to be a thunderstorm at the horizon expecting you. But don’t be afraid of it.
For equiping you with a sense of orientation on this curvy path, let me provide you with a short guide for the 7 unevitable steps for any woman, who strives for reclaiming her Queen nature. You are not lost, in fact you are never lost, although it may feel sometimes like it. The events and turnarounds of our lifes can bury that ancient-old connection, making it necessary for us to spit in our hands and dig it out.
To encourage you on this voyage, I want to make it as easy as possible for you to take changes and created an overview about the different aspects you should have an eye on. They are not meant to stand in a specific order for that they are a matter of permanent relevance, nevertheless some areas can be easier to approach prior to others.
You get that. I believe in you. :-*
Let’s get it started.
Reconnect With Your Feminine Essence
This is what I list first, since at the beginning of every transformation stands the craving for truth. This is to a large extent, what the feminine essence is about, truth. Not this religious follow-these-rules kind of truth that is interpreted through the lense of men. I’m talking about a deep, profound embeddedness in the all-embracing cosmic consciousness. The awareness, that there is something bigger, more powerful and certainly way more loving than any human being. Find that connection. Spend a lot of time alone and take baths in the peace of silence. Visit the forests and feel the nurturing force of nature and wilderness. Take care and responsibility for other people, animals and living beings in general. Feel your motherly, loving instincts for everything that has a heartbeat. That’s where you will dig out feminine essence.
Challenge Your Androcentric Beliefs
On the way on becoming a Queen, you will meet a lot of resistance. First and foremost, it will not come from other people but from the depths of your subconsciousness. To be more precise: From the surface of your subconsciousness. That part of the brain, that tells you to not take your intuition seriously, that tries to push you to work unless you’re exhausted and that tells you that you have to adapt to societys’ expectations. This is the part that is suffocating your free, naked child-like soul.
Don’t cut yourself off from that voice. That rationale, binary-thinking part of your brain that got occupied by androcentric values is a part of you. Instead of waging a already lost war against it, you work on convincing it to follow your heart. A Queen always listens to her heart first and then makes her mind willing to follow it and taking action. How do you do that? Challenge your androcentric beliefs with scientific contra-facts. Understand, how patriarchal structures dominated the world since 10’000 years and how these patterns heavily influence your life and everday behavior. Do you remember the voices of your parents and your teachers in your childhood? The patriarchy is speaking out of them in many different ways. I dare to say that as a male social scientist.
Learn about the deeper emotional and sexual needs of women, that are easily about 20 times older than any moral restriction. Is it healthy to suppress the biggest part of your subconscious self and deny it? Educate yourself about what modern psychology figured out about the underlying patterns of relationships, your rationale mind will be astonished.
Explore Your Personal Needs
Then will come the time you have to face yourself. This part may not be easy, but it is a crucial and a rewarding one in the end. You have to figure out your personal needs.
Basically, you have needs of lack and of exploration. In a womans life, there are several parameters, that must be fulfilled in order for her femininity to bloom. They mostly turn around spiritual, emotional and structural safety. Do you feel embedded and cared of in your life? Do your routines and your lifestyle provide you with enough security, money and food? Do you have enough people in your life you can trust and rely on? Everyone has some lacks and flaws in his/her soul. What are your wounds? Where do you detect holes that drain you of energy?
Explorational desires are the ones driving you forward in life. Ask yourself about your dreams and wishes. What are you drawn to? What do you want to experience and more importantly, where do you want to take influence? Are there sexual, motherly or emotional desires, that relentlessly are coming to surface on a regular basis? Don’t ignore them. They are enlighting you the way.
Whatever needs and wishes you crave for, you must understand that you won’t reach them alone. At the end of the day, most desires, that our subconscious self produces, have to do with relationships in one kind or another. Now it’s time to find allies. Find women who are on the same path on becoming a Queen and build up sisterhoods. Share your personal insights and visions with them and create rituals together like doing yoga or building a coffee-meditation circle. Sisterhoods nourish your female essence in another way that solitude does. They connect hearts. They energize intuition. They make you feel embedded.
Research on online platforms like social media sites, blogs or forums driven by women developing their best, strongest, most loving and sexiest self. In addition, exchanging with men who share the same values can boost your confidence massively. It makes a difference hearing a compliment about your attractive radiance coming out of the mouths of 10 female friends or 1 honest, powerful man. Befriend men who value the inner beauty of a Queen and who can name that clearly. They are rarely to be found, I know, but usually their opinions and advices can heavily take positive impact on your life.
Now it’s time to take action. If you want to become a Queen - and I’m sure you want - you have to change your life. At least some parts of it. It is Important to customize your media consumption. Stop watching series with whiny, doll-like females and weak-minded men. Stop scrolling through Facebook, it will only remind you on what you not have. Select the blogs, series, twitter-accounts and news platforms you follow carefully my dear. Never pay attention to anything that doesn’t inspire you positively and leaves a spark in your soul. What you consume is what you will eventually become and this counts for media information even more than for food.
Change your routines. Look for jobs and activities that suit more your Queen-self. Take care of a healthy nourishment and establish a lifestyle that’s rich in movement. The body of a Queen is her temple and feeling well in it claims to be the top priority. cultivate it accordingly.
Maybe it’s time to re-adjust your social circle. Kick out toxic people that drain you of energy and move on from old friends who now just have becoming anchors. Maybe you even have to end a relationship. But keep your heart open. If you change your life, you change the frequency of your soul and you will attract different people. Welcome them in your life and surround yourself with people you feel well with.
Your environment doesn’t get spared of change. You need comfortable space for living and retreating, room for your soul to recharge. Kick useless stuff out of your apartment and make it a daily routine to clean up. Install a well-feeling place for meditation, yoga, self-love or whatever you like to do to get energized again.
Take action as well on your behavior and your outer appearance. Look into the mirror and ask yourself, what the new you would change on her look. Inspire yourself with youtube-videos of style-guides, adapt your movements, your walk and the intonation of your words. Body and tongue shall belong to a woman of influence. Re-invent your biography. Think about the values that are directing your life and write down a short narrative, that puts the history of your person into the light of another perspective.
Rule Your Relationships
Okay now we’ve already covered some distance together. But we’re not finished yet. You have to learn to rule your relationships as well. Begin with defining the purpose of your relationships. We’ve grown up with the idea, that the monogamic relationship with our spouse should fulfil all our needs and desires and this for a lifetime. Does it always have to be this way? Is this approach realistic? Question that. Fact is, that you have a lot of different needs. You surely strive for friendships, economical safety, emotional caredness, sexual satisfaction and life companions. If you want to find all this in a single husband or decide to satisfy them with a wide-spread bunch of different people is up to you. But be aware of what your relationships provide you with and what not, so you can direct them and take adjustments from early on.
What is heavily important in relationships is for women to communicate their boundaries. Clearly. First define for yourself where your boundaries are, especially the sexual ones. State clearly what is allowed on you and what not and sanction violations of your drawn lines immediately. E.g. if you’re not in the mood for sex, a simple „no“ should be enough to prevent your man from insisting on you opening up legs for him. I personally recommend my clients to dump partners after several times of disrespecting boundaries. A Queen is strictly in enforcing the rules of her life.
Be Wild and Unchained
On your way to Queendom, you will experience more and more freedom. You unchain yourself. Let others see the changes in you and talk about your thoughts and experiences. Inspire others. A Queen always leads and does so mostly by inviting others to accompany her on her personal way.
With rising self-confidence, you will also feel sparks that set your soul on fire. Don’t let it die by hesitation and doubt, take a heart, grab opportunities right away and take the courage to make steps forward. Overcome old boundaries. Maybe you move to a new city or a foreign country. Make it a habit to constantly learn something new, may it be languages, how to make an independent income or seducing desired men. It’s time to expand your horizon and go beyond what you think is possible for you. My favourite advice: Travel. Nothing opens your senses and your heart more than living abroad for a while, catching new impressions and meeting people that are completely different from you.
Those few sentences hardly describe every corner that awaits you on your way. But I think it equips you with a slight sense of orientation. Leave comments, share your insights or questions as I am truly interested in accompanying you on your bumpy road. My advice is never a one-man-show. My masculine voice is here to serve your feminine heart. I believe in co-creation and that we always learn from each other, so let’s cultivate this.